Breaking the Silence: Speaking Out Against Abuse

In recognition of the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women, observed annually on November 25, I am writing about a topic that has shaped parts of my life in profound ways: the experiences of physical and sexual abuse.

This is not an easy subject to bring into the public space, and I have hesitated for years to share this deeply personal part of my story. But I feel the timing is now, not just for myself, but for anyone who has ever felt silenced by fear, shame, or pain.

Recently, I attended the French Film Festival to watch the film Rabia, directed by Mareike Engelhardt. Inspired by true events, the film tells the story of Jessica, a 19-year-old Frenchwoman who is lured to Syria with promises of a better life, only to find herself trapped in a world of manipulation, oppression, and control. The film explores themes of radicalization, psychological abuse, and the struggle for autonomy within oppressive systems.

At the end of the screening, there was a powerful discussion led by two lawyers who shared their experiences working with survivors of abuse. They spoke passionately about the importance of women coming forward and offered their pro bono services to provide legal advice for women in Singapore.

That discussion stayed with me. It reminded me of the strength that comes from breaking the silence and the critical role of support networks in helping survivors rebuild their lives. It also gave me the final push to write this blog, not only to share my story but to encourage others to seek help and know that they are not alone.

The Weight of Silence

For years, I carried the weight of abuse in silence. The scars of sexual abuse in my childhood and the pain of physical abuse as an adult felt too heavy to share. I convinced myself that keeping it buried was the best way to move forward. But what I didn’t realize then was that silence only deepens the wound.

Abuse thrives in silence. It creates a world where victims feel isolated, powerless, and ashamed, while perpetrators walk free of accountability. By not speaking up, I unknowingly gave my pain more power over me.

Breaking that silence was one of the hardest and most liberating things I’ve ever done. It didn’t happen all at once—it was a slow and painful process. But with each word I spoke, I began to reclaim a part of myself that had been lost to fear.

Why Speaking Out Matters

Speaking out against abuse is not just about seeking justice; it’s about reclaiming your voice, your power, and your life. Here’s why it’s so vital:

1. Breaking the Cycle: Abuse often repeats itself across generations. By speaking out, we interrupt that cycle, empowering survivors and educating others to recognize and prevent it.

2. Empowering Others: Sharing our stories can inspire others to find their courage and seek help. When survivors speak, we create a ripple effect of strength and solidarity.

3. Shifting the Stigma: Society has long stigmatized victims of abuse, making them feel responsible for their suffering. By bringing these stories into the open, we challenge harmful narratives and pave the way for greater understanding and empathy.

4. Driving Change: Advocacy and awareness are the first steps toward systemic change. Speaking out can lead to stronger laws, better support systems, and a safer world for everyone.

The Journey of Healing

Healing from abuse is a journey, not a destination. It requires immense courage, and often professional support, to unlearn the lies abuse tells us about ourselves—that we are weak, broken, or unworthy of love.

For me, healing meant rediscovering my voice and allowing myself to believe that I was worthy of peace, safety, and joy. It meant leaning on others when I needed help and forgiving myself for not being able to fix everything alone.

If you’re on this journey, know this: you are not alone. Healing is not linear, and there is no right or wrong way to reclaim your life. Every step you take toward your peace is an act of strength.

Help Is Available

If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out for help. Here are resources where you can find support:

• National Anti-Violence and Sexual Harassment Helpline (NAVH):

  • Phone: 1800-777-0000 (24/7)

  • Description: A dedicated helpline for reporting violence and abuse, including child abuse, spousal abuse, elder abuse, and family violence-related matters.

    
    

• Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) by AWARE:

  • Phone: 6779 0282

  • Email: sacc@aware.org.sg

  • Description: Provides safe, free, and confidential services for anyone who has faced sexual assault or harassment.

    
    

• PAVE Integrated Services for Individual and Family Protection Specialist Centre:

  • Phone: 6555 0390

  • Email: admin@pave.org.sg

  • Description: Offers integrated services for individuals and families experiencing violence, including counselling and support.

    
    

• Care Corner Project StART:

  • Phone: 6476 1482

  • Email: cccc@carecorner.org.sg

  • Description: Provides social and emotional support to clients experiencing all forms of violence, including adult survivors of sexual violence beyond the family unit.

    
    

• Pro Bono SG:

  • Phone: 6536 0650

  • Email: help@probono.sg

  • Description: An initiative by the Law Society of Singapore, Pro Bono SG coordinates various pro bono legal services, including those tailored for women in need of legal assistance.

My Hope for This Blog

Sharing this part of my story feels vulnerable, but I know it’s necessary. By breaking the silence, I hope to inspire others to do the same—not just for themselves but for the countless others who need to hear that healing is possible.

This International Women’s Day, let us remember that our voices are powerful. Speaking out is not just an act of bravery; it’s a step toward a world where no one has to suffer in silence.

To anyone reading this who feels trapped, scared, or unsure of where to turn: You are not alone. There is help, there is hope, and there is healing waiting for you.