5 Ways to Reframe Your Thinking When Life Feels Heavy

Life can sometimes feel unbearably heavy, like you're carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. For single mothers, sole breadwinners, or anyone balancing multiple responsibilities, the pressure can be relentless. Through my own experiences—navigating single motherhood, surviving a challenging divorce, and ultimately finding a way to rise above—I’ve learned that our thoughts are often the heaviest burden we carry.

Here are five powerful ways to reframe your thinking when life feels overwhelming, each inspired by lessons I’ve learned along the way:

1. Embrace Self-Compassion Over Self-Criticism

How many times have you stood in front of a mirror or replayed a moment in your head and torn yourself apart over what you could have done differently? I’ve done it more times than I can count. Somewhere along the way, I believed that being hard on myself was the only way to improve. But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: growth isn’t born from punishment—it’s born from love. You cannot heal a wound by attacking it.

When you feel that weight of self-criticism creeping in, pause and ask yourself: Would I speak to my child, my best friend, or even a stranger this way? Why, then, would you speak to yourself with anything less than compassion? You are carrying so much already. Give yourself permission to be human.

• How to apply this now: Start with one simple shift. When you catch yourself in a spiral of guilt or shame, gently stop and reframe it. Speak to yourself the way you would comfort the child version of you—the one who deserved love and understanding, even in their mistakes.

2. Shift from "Why Me?" to "What’s This Teaching Me?"

I won’t sugarcoat it—sometimes life is brutally unfair. You find yourself asking questions that have no answers: Why did this happen? What did I do to deserve this? I’ve asked those same questions, curled up in tears, looking for a reason where there was none. But here’s what I’ve come to understand: those questions don’t bring peace; they bring a sense of powerlessness.

Instead, I’ve learned to ask: What is this teaching me? Not because pain is some kind of gift, but because it can show us what we are capable of surviving. Life’s hardest moments are the ones that have taught me how strong, resourceful, and compassionate I can be—not just to others, but to myself.

• How to apply this now: The next time you face a challenge, try reframing the narrative. Instead of “Why is this happening to me?” ask, “What can I take from this experience? How can it shape me into someone stronger, wiser, or more resilient?” Write your answers down. You might be surprised by how much power you hold.

3. Let Go of What No Longer Serves You

I know, I know—this sounds like a cliché. Believe me, I’ve rolled my eyes at it more times than I can count. It’s one of those phrases you hear so often that it loses meaning, until one day, it hits you like a wave and suddenly, it makes sense. I’ve been there. I’ve hung onto stories that hurt me, opened pages that bled every time I turned them. Denial can be a seductive comfort—a reason to stay with the pain you know instead of stepping into the unknown.

But here’s the truth: You can sit with your feelings, honor them, and allow them to exist. Just don’t let them move in and take up permanent residence. Ask yourself: Why am I holding on to something that drains me? Why am I reopening wounds that need healing, not attention? Letting go isn’t forgetting; it’s choosing freedom over the weight of carrying pain.

• How to apply this now: Reflect on one story, one habit, or one memory that hurts you each time you revisit it. Ask yourself if you’re ready to let it go—or even just take the first step. If the answer is yes, begin by acknowledging the pain, thanking it for the lessons it brought, and then gently setting it down.

4. Find Strength in Stillness

For the longest time, I wore busyness like a badge of honor. I convinced myself that if I kept moving, kept working, kept doing, I could outrun the things I didn’t want to feel. But eventually, the exhaustion caught up with me, and I had to face the truth: busyness wasn’t strength—it was avoidance.

Strength, I learned, comes in stillness. It’s in those quiet moments when you allow yourself to just be, without distraction, that you hear the whispers of what your soul truly needs. Stillness isn’t always easy; it forces you to sit with the uncomfortable, to face the truths you’ve buried. But it’s also where healing begins.

• How to apply this now: Start small. Set aside just five minutes to sit in silence. Close your eyes, breathe deeply, and imagine yourself as a tree deeply rooted in the earth. Let the stillness ground you, even if just for a moment.

5. Focus on the Small Wins

When life feels overwhelming, it’s easy to feel like nothing is going right. I’ve been there—staring at the pile of undone tasks, the responsibilities I couldn’t juggle, and feeling like I was failing at everything. But I’ve learned that survival itself is sometimes the biggest win.

The secret is this: small victories matter. They are the stepping stones that carry you through the hardest days. Maybe you managed to get out of bed when it felt impossible. Maybe you showed up for your kids when your heart was breaking. Those moments count. You count.

• How to apply this now: At the end of each day, write down three small wins. They don’t have to be monumental—they just have to be yours. On the hardest days, remind yourself that even breathing is an act of strength.

Final Thoughts

These shifts in perspective won’t erase the challenges in your life, but they can help you carry them with greater ease. You may not always feel strong, but that’s okay—because even in your lowest moments, you are still rising. You are still here. And that, in itself, is extraordinary.